Palma De Mallorca, Spain

17-20 April 2018

Palma De Mallorca, the island of 180 languages.

We found roundtrip flights to this island for £15 each, so why not go play in the sun?
We knew absolutely nothing about this island but we found an amazing hostel to stay in and took off. We stayed three blocks from the beach in a very German neighborhood. Almost all of the restaurants spoke more German than Spanish or English. And there was a German strip club on every corner.

We were enjoying hookah on the beach when I was talking about how I felt sick, and my boyfriend said that maybe he could find some cannabjs to help my stomach, which I laughed and said “Nooooo!!”, because we don’t know the area and don’t want to get arrested.
Next thing we know:

Random person walking by: “Hey did I hear that you guys want to buy some weed?”
Host: “Hey your waitress said she overheard something about needing weed?”
Another random person: “Hey want some weed?”

Turns out this Island has on demand marijuana.

Another fun fact about this island is that it’s covered in dicks. Hand carved wooden penises (penni?) everywhere. Penis lighters, penis towells, penis cups, penis everything. I needed a bottle opener so I had to buy a penid bottle opener, because they didn’t have any non penis bottle openers. And who doesn’t want a beautiful hand carved and painted wooden penis bottle opener? It’s a national treasure.

We visited historic Palma city more than once. Visited the Cathedrales, the 12th Century Castille, and wandered around the old alleyways to absorb as much Spanish culture that we could find. The city is made up of huge fashion districts blended in with the historical buildings. There was not a single shop that I could afford to shop at, but it was fun to window-shop.

On the day we were supposed to leave, I got the flight times mixed up… So we missed our flight. This was the first time I have ever missed a flight in my life, and I knew my boyfriend had to work that evening in England, so was having panic attack. Thankfully his boss gave him a break and we were able to get tickets home to Newcastle for the next morning. Unfortunately, our hostel was fully booked for the next night so we had to move to another hostel on the other side of the island. Once we were settled, we sat on the beach on the and tried to make the best of the day.

On the beach there are people who walk up and down the beach offering massages for €10. Considering how stressful the day was, I treated us both to a terrible yet relaxing massage.

Later we went to Palma to see the city again and explore until our feet fell off and we had to get a taxi. It ended up being the best day of the trip 🙂 the next morning at 4am we woke up and made our flight this time.


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